Ten years ago I burnt out completely. In my case, I had no energy, was exhausted all the time and had to stop working. Depression soon followed. The unhappy memories of those years and the period of recovery that followed are still very vivid to my mind. And yet, looking back, it also felt unreal; I felt I was just a ghost of myself.
There are times in your life when everything seems to flow in harmony and you’re in step with people around you. Other times, you feel your life’s at a standstill. You see others around you moving on but you can’t keep up with the pace.
At the time I didn’t realise that I was stuck in a life that wasn’t right for me. I knew something needed to change but I didn’t know what or how.
Did I simply ignore the signs or did I simply not know how to recognise them? Looking back, I see them clearly now.
The overwhelming stress
Burnout wasn’t the cause, it was the effect. Burnout is a state of emotional, mental and physical exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress (in my case from my job).
I used to always be on top of everything but suddenly even the simplest task, such as choosing what cereal I was having for breakfast, felt impossible.
When that sense of panic to make a decision comes back, I start writing down everything that I want to do on a piece of paper. This helps to see the true scale of the task and what seemed so big in my head starts to seem more achievable.
The loss of direction
If you let stress continue to accumulate, you begin to lose interest and motivation. The job that I was once so excited about felt tasteless; I kept cancelling the regular meet-ups with my friends, which I used to look forward to. Nothing filled me up anymore. Suddenly my life stopped being full (-filled). I lost my sense of direction and for many years felt constantly at the crossroads of my life.
I believe a purposeful life comes from serving others so today when I’m at a crossroad, I ask myself what can I do that will improve the life of others be my family, friends or clients?
In search of a “true calling”
The social pressure of finding one passion and sticking to it can as we all know be overwhelming.
For a long time, I didn’t have a passion and felt in constant search of my “true calling”, drifting through a life of hobbies and opportunities.
But finding one’s true calling is a myth. Some people are meant to follow one passion in life, and others, to follow their curiosity, which might lead them through many passions. Don’t let your “true calling” get in the way of your curiosity.
I am passionate about learning and love the idea that for the rest of my life my curiosity will take me to many places of discovery.
The little voice in your head
Procrastination is seen as an avoidance behaviour and happens when people fear, dread or have an anxiety about a task awaiting them. In coaching we sometimes refer to those fears as our limiting beliefs when our gremlins, that little voice in our head, takes control of our emotions, freezes our actions and keeps us in an unhappy state of being. However, we were made to enjoy life. You can learn to embrace your fears and re-take control of your life. It’s not easy – but, as the ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu once said: “The journey of a thousand miles begin with one step.” Taking that step is the only way to live the life you always wanted.
This article is part of a mini series on a personal journey - From a place of being to a place of becoming.
Recommendation:
See Elizabeth Gilbert talking about passion vs. curiosity in this video
Comments